Happiness vs. Misery

A light bulb has finally turned on inside my head! It has taken almost a year of struggling, but I have to say. I am really ready to LIVE! I have been "in the depths of despair" for way too long! It is time to turn on the light and step out of the darkness. 

I talked about the seminar that I listened to in my last post and how I realized that I am the author of my own story! I am in charge of my own happiness, but I really do not have to do it alone! I must say that I the same renewed feelings yesterday and today. I am ready to WAKE UP! I am ready to start working for my own happiness and to "create my AMAZING life!"

I found this scripture today that I really love.

"O that ye would awake; awake from a deep sleep, yea, even from the sleep of hell, and shake off the awful chains by which ye are bound, which are the chains which bind the children of men, that they are carried away captive down to the eternal gulf of misery and woe." (2 Nephi 1:14)

Over that last year I have listened to the wrong kind of voices. I have listened to the negative voices of the servants of Satan who are trying to drag me down. I was in a deep sleep, a place where I was not allowing the Holy Ghost to speak to me because the negative voices were screaming in my ear. But I WILL NOT listen to them ANYMORE!
I also thought of this classic scripture from seminary,

 "Wherefore, men are free according to the flesh; and all things are given them which are expedient unto man. And they are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil; for he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself." 2 Nephi 2:27

He is miserable. He is angry and he really wants me to fail. He hates me. I feel like I was numb. I had hardened my heart to the Spirit and had allowed myself to fall into the darkness.  But NO LONGER! 

I am going to "Awake, my (daughter) and put on the armor of righteousness. Shake off the chains with which ye are bound) 2 Nephi 1:23

On Saturday, my cute eight year old chose to follow Jesus Christ's example and to be baptized. Now this kid has never really committed a "sin" in his life. He makes mistakes like we all do, but I know he understands the importance of opening the gate towards his own spiritual journey. He is old enough to recognize good and bad and right and wrong.  I know that he knows. He is a great example to me of love and having a fun attitude. 

It puts things into prospective for me to think how much my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ love me because when I saw my father and my eldest brother in the room at the baptism, I realized that they would do anything for me. I also know that my Heavenly Father and my older Brother Jesus Christ will also do anything for me. I can have the close relationship that I want with them. They are just waiting for me to wake up and open up the door. 

I will choose happiness! I will "shake off" Satan's bands and I will LIVE!

A New Year

So I thought I would continue down this path with this blog. I shared a post on my other blog that is going to be more a place where I share my writing samples and may be a glimpse of my novel for review (scary). I just need to get 'er done.  But here is the website www,karenpainter7.wordpress.com I thought I would try another media just to separate the healthy lifestyle I want to live and to have a place where I can really go to "write."  So if you want to follow that blog as well, I totally wouldn't mind.  

So here's to another tender mercy. I recently listened to an online workshop presented by a woman named Marnie Pehrson. She is an author, a public speaker, an enterpreneur and pretty amazing. She felt inspired to offer her online training, usually $$$, for free. I am so glad that she did. It was called, "Co-Create Your Amazing Life."  She is also a member of my faith. www.marniepehrson.com

Here is a post that I share on the Facebook page

"Marnie thank you for leaving us these recordings up. I have been listening to Monday's class again. Something that really resonated to me today it was when you said I need to be the hero of my own story. I am also a writer and I am working on a novel about the lives of my great grandparents. It helps so much in my writing knowing my heroes are real people who accomplished real things and their blood flows through my veins. After working through my goals for the next two years I am finally ready to not just exist but to LIVE! I am the hero of my own story."

She said how a few years ago she went on a vacation with her family to the beach. They had a great time, but her husband was very distant from the family, but it wasn't unusual. After 28 years of marriage, you kind of "fall into ruts."  She said as they drove home that day, she imagined in her mind what kind of life she really wanted to have.  She just felt like she didn't have control of her life. Yet she thought about Jesus Christ and how he was resurrected. He was the one who provided us all with the gift of Resurrection after this life, but why not now? Why couldn't the Savior help her resurrect her life, RIGHT NOW? She imagined what kind of life she really wanted in her relationships, in financial life, in her health, hobbies, etc. Then she created her own "Definite Major Purpose" or DMP or mission statement to help her know what her mission in life really was. She went after her goals and put aside anything that did not apply to her DMP.  As she set out to fulfill her DMP, other side goals fell into place. One of the parts of her DMP is "connecting' and to have a great and healthy relationship with her children and to be active in their lives and doing things with them. Well she was about fifty pounds overweight (like me) and she knew that she would need to be more fit to help with that overall goal. So she worked very hard, exercising, eating right, but most importantly she stayed motivated because of her DMP and also because of her willingness to include her Heavenly Father and her Savior Jesus Christ first in her life. She enlisted Heavenly Father to help co-create her life.  

I have felt so inspired by this message and I think it will be just what I need to continue to stay motivated. I am going to start with "baby steps" as I wrote on my other blog. i am going to start with just reading my scriptures again. I need to get in there and allow my Heavenly Father to talk to me by his words.  "Angels speak by the power of the Holy Ghost, wherefore they speak the words of Christ, wherefore I say unto you, feast upon the words of Christ for behold the words of Christ will tell you all things that you should do." 

ALL THINGS! If I want to be motivated to eat well and exercise right, then I need also be feeding my spirit.

I also recently found this talk by Elder Jorg Klebingat from the Quorum of the Seventy:

I have listened to Satan's messengers who have continued to whisper negative things into my mind for so long. I wasn't even aware of the voice that was talking to me. I thought I was just being too hard on myself. while I am guilty of that it is also true that this is a way that Satan uses to try to capture me. If he can bring me down to make me so miserable that I want to end my own life then well he doesnt' have much to do does he?  So I truly think this talk was for me. Thanks Elder Kelbingat!

He said, "As long as you allow these voices to chisel away at your soul, you can’t approach the throne of God with real confidence. Whatever you do, whatever you pray for, whatever hopes for a miracle you may have, there will always be just enough self-doubt chipping away at your faith—not only your faith in God but also your confidence in yourself. Living the gospel in this manner is no fun, nor is it very healthy. Above all, it is completely unnecessary! The decision to change is yours—and yours alone.

I would like to share six practical suggestions that, if heeded, will dissipate these evil voices and restore to you the kind of peaceful assurance and spiritual confidence that is yours to have if you only want it. 

These are his suggestions: 

1)Take responsibility for your own spiritual well-being. if I want to "resurrect" my life then I need to  invited my Savior into my life. I need to repent of my sins and enlist his help with my goals and my desires for a new amazing life.  He will help me. I know that he will. I just have to take the first "baby-step." I will start with one step. For one month I will only strive to read my scriptures each day. Hey! I might even get myself a sticker chart. ;)

2)Take responsibility for your own physical well-being. I want to be healthy. I want to be around for my children for a long time and I want to be able to keep up with them. I want to be a good example of health for them. So the first step I will do for one month is just to exercise. That's it. Just move more. I worry about the rest when I come to it.

3)Embrace voluntary, wholehearted obedience as part of your life.  If I just give "lip service" to my faith and I am not really living it. Elder Kelbingat said "remember that casualness in spiritual matters never was happiness. Make the Church and the restored gospel your whole life, not just a part of your outward or social life. Choosing this day whom you will serve is lip service only—until you actually live accordingly (see Joshua 24:15). This desire really will come as I take "baby steps" strive to increase my spirituality. 

4) Become really, really good at repenting thoroughly and quickly. This will also come as I increase my spirituality and really learn to speak with my Heavenly Father not just mumble out a few words and call it a prayer. 

5) Become really, really good at repenting thoroughly and quickly. I need to learn this. I think I am may still be holding onto grudges from my very distant past. It is time to let them go once and for all. I will get there as I continue to take things one step at a time. 

6) Accept trials, setbacks, and “surprises” as part of your mortal experience. They are going to come. I just want to be healthier mentally so I am strong and ready to fight my way through.

Here's to a brand new me in 2015 and beyond!